New Year's Resolution

Paul asked me the other day what my New Year's resolution was and could I tell it? As if it was a birthday wish, you know, and if you tell it won't come true. I giggled and said, "Yes you can tell it." My mind went through a flurry of New Year's resoultions from the past 12/24 years I have made (I'm guessing knowing myself I started at age 10) that were probably all the same or at least similar-get fit, lose 10 lbs, work out every day, eat healthy! Not this year. I will be 34 in a few months, and I have learned something oh so important- LIFE IS SHORT. All this was going through my mind, and I told Paul, "I know what it is. Have fun." Period. Nothing else. It's just that deep. As a wife I have been harder on myself than anyone possibly could, certainly given myself less credit than even a stranger would give me. As a mom all the things done right are clouded by all the things I didn't have time to do or times when I was completely stressed out and didn't even rank sub par that day. No more. How can we wives and moms love others when we don't give ourselves permission to love ourselves and have a little FUN.

The happiest times with my husband have been on vacations, on our bikes, on dates, laughing in our bed. Why? We were having fun. The same goes with my children. If I can put off something this year and replace it with fun I am going to do it. If I can take a chore or work and make it fun I know I will be able to tolerate it. Same with exercise. So that's it. I know this could be the best year ever if I can achieve this resolution-Have fun. I am tempted to not even get on a scale this year to measure my success or failure or any other assessment of self. Because that brings stress and disappointment. My assessment for 2013 will be this-How much do I smile? How often do I laugh? I envision a lot more basketball playing with my kids, more football throwing, game playing, trips to park,zoo, museums, walking around town with girlfriends, GNOs, dancing, yoga, bike riding, listening to music, reaching out to help people, cooking for my family, dessert, staying up late to talk. I have a feeling everything else will fall right into place or I won't even care because I am busy living life to the fullest and having fun.

Questions we women should eliminate from our brains-Does this make me look fat? Do you like this outfit? Will I have time? Will they be disppointed? What does he/she think of me? Does he or she like me? Will I look silly? Can I fit this in my schedule? Rule of fun-festivals, music, food, festivities, movies, favorites, floats (all kinds) books, magazines, feeling good, feeling pretty, fancy, friends, being friendly,scenic walks, hiking in the forest, feeling a cool breeze, frolicking, football, sports, fitness, family, journaling, accepting yourself...