I have to be honest I thought this year of "staying at home mom hood" would be "easy"- all about the comfort of my own home and my own kids and I could focus on my own family. Happily ever after right?
Haha does that sound like life? No. Life is unexpected, it's messy, it's complicated, it's hard decisions, it's thinking from time to time-"I don't want to be a grown up anymore!"
This morning I dropped the kids off at their schools and was on my way home. Most mornings I leave my phone at home so I won't even be tempted to be distracted by looking at it. Well on my way home in my VS green and white striped sleep shirt and my sky blue soft pajama pants with white clouds and my slip on brown animal print Sperrys I glanced over and noticed my phone was indeed in my purse. At a stop light close to my house I pressed the round button and noticed there was a text from W's principal.
It read. We had a sub call in and cancel can you sub for PE today?
Me in my head-"PE????"
I thought this with a bit of a smile not knowing whether that would be easier or harder than a regular classroom. I have taught reading, writing, math, social studies, science but never PE.
What do I wear?
Anyway, I texted back that I had tutoring at the middle school from 9-9:45 but was free after.
I got a text back-Great! Your fist PE class is 10:40.
What. Have. I . Gotten. Myself. Into???
The part about this stay at home mom hood I don't understand is that in 3 full months I have been home the whole day maybe enough times to count on one hand.
So I go and tutor. Then go to teach PE.
First my son's class. Then 3 Pre-K classes. Then a Pre first.
Needless to say this was way out of my comfort zone. It was fun and new and well....different!
So much has progressed this year, and it feels like I am going through life completely blind and God has these crazy plans for me that I am supposed to willing accept and be grateful for.
It is NOT the comfy easy life I expected. It is real life however.
The other day my husband took me on a date. He has been mucho busy starting to practice and getting his work off the ground as a new up and coming plastic surgeon here. So I was very excited to finally go on a much needed date night just the two of us. When he pulled up to the Armory shooting range it is NOT what I was expecting. I lost it. I was like NO I am NOT doing this. He even called one of my best friends to get her to talk some sense into me because she is like Annie Oakley with guns.
Comfort Zone-Where are you???
But I did eventually go in. I saw my husband in a new light. He has been around guns much more than I. He was way more knowledgable and comfortable in showing me how to load, how to hold a 9MM, how to shoot. I kept trying to just let him do it so I could watch, and he kept putting it back in my terrified hands making me load, take it off safety, and shoot.
I swear I was afraid for my life. The first shot I thought I surely must have missed the whole target. I couldn't see my mark because the bullet hole was directly through the x on the center of the target. That is a strange and exciting feeling.
My husband and I have dated for 19 years-6 before Marriage and 13 after marriage. This is something we had never experienced together. It brought us closer. It gave me the chance to trust his judgement and let him teach me how to do something. It was a very sexy date. Especially when he shot at the target and his button up shirt pulled tight over his shoulders as I watched from behind him. Ok enough about that! I am getting sidetracked!
This thing of being outside our comfort zone. It is what is good for our person, our soul. It's not healthy to not grow, not to change, not to learn.
Me teaching PE today. I feel different now like I did that?!
When I left the shooting range I joked to Paul, "I may join the police force now!" He knew that would never happen but for a moment I thought- People can do whatever they want to do! At any age?! People can change when and what they want to. It simply amazes me.
I don't know if this is amusing to God all these little things I am getting into this year-going into strangers' houses to just be a friend, taking an unplanned job, learning new and terrifying things, or if there is a greater plan, or if He is just showing me slowly and surely that I'm not done yet! However, I am enjoying the ride. This roller coaster that is making me want to close my eyes on some twists and turns but I still want to stay on for the ride.
Meanwhile occasionally I get to be home and cook:
I even did this one day when I was actually home-
My hair was even soaked in a conditioning mask! Haha But mostly I am on a strange new adventure each day and trying to process who I am becoming and what I want to be each day! And hoping God is not just punking me!!
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