At the beginning of the summer or should I say the last week of school, W had a bad dream. He remembered it in great detail. He dreamed he was at the base of the stairs in our house and a little girl screamed in his room. He yelled up to her, "What is it? A Ghost??" And she yelled back to him, "NO! It's a zombie!"
Following this dream he refused to enter his room. It became his scary place. His sister traded rooms with him during the day. He slept with her every night in her room. Every now and then he would look pleading to me and say, "I can't forget about my dream." He looked in his room at the doorway and said to me, "I'm not going in there!" Turns out he thinks he had the dream because of a commercial for some scary movie.
It was summer so I wasn't too worried because he always ends up sleeping in his sister's room anyway all summer long. They fuss, they talk, they laugh.
So we decided since school starts in a couple of weeks it was time for him to go back to his bed and conquer his fear....
The first night he ended up back in his sister's bed.
The second night I stayed with him until he fell asleep and he was up and out of there at 6AM.
Last night was the 3rd night. Now let me tell you there is nothing scarier than feeling a presence over you as you sleep in the dead of night and knowing as you open your eyes someone's going to be there. Especially when that someone includes a 3 foot stuffed batman-mask and cape and all....and a 4 foot boy 2 inches from your face looking over you as you sleep. I opened my eyes to these dark figures. Calmly (without screaming which is what I wanted to do but that wouldn't have helped the situation now would it??) I asked, "What's wrong W?" He said, "I'm scared!" What I didn't say is, "YOU? I'm scared!"
He had a very happy smile as we both went hand in hand back to his bed...his twin sized bunk bed....to sleep....the two of us (3 if you include batman). So We laid down, W, Me, and Batman. All in the twin bed. He wasn't going to go to sleep easily. It is just something you can tell after doing this sort of thing for 10 years. He said, "Let me go see what time it is?" And happily skipped to my room and came back to tell me it was 4AM.
Then he wiggled and squirmed. Then he said, "My tummy hurts..." Now my children don't ever say this in bed unless.... That was MY biggest fear last night. The only thing worse than being up at 4AM in a twin bed with a stuffed 3 ft batman is cleaning puke from the sheets, bed, and the off of batman. So we rushed to the bathroom together-still hand in hand.
He used the bathroom and seemed to feel much better. I felt better too because I had to pee and didn't think he would let me get up and leave him alone to be Zombie food.
We got back in bed, and he was still tensely holding on to me. His whole body was tense. My little guy was afraid. After much cuddling I could feel him relax into sleep.
I had a distinct memory of these very moments, times when he was little. Much "littler". When we had to disassemble his crib around age 1 (much too early) because to my dismay he was throwing his whole body over with a hefty thump heard from the downstairs. When he was too little for a twin bed so he had to have a railing. When I would squeeze in and wait for his little body to drift off into a relaxed sleep. Little like when I would unwind my limbs from his clasps and ease off the bed like a snake. One leg out of the covers, one leg over the edge of the bed, slithering oh so quietly so he wouldn't wake up. Two legs and half my body. Two legs and half my body and an arm, sliding the last arm from his wound up fingers.
That's what I had to do, at 4AM last night. And I couldn't help but to appreciate it. The fact that even though for years he has been the best 8-7 sleeper, I was slithering again. Just as I had when he was a toddler.
This morning I woke up tired but had a refreshing appreciation for me, not just a woman, but a mommy. I was reminded last night that I am worth a lot more than how I look in a bathing suit, because I can do what batman can't...at 4 in the morning.
So, he survived the Zombies no thanks to batman. He is back in his sisters room where all is safe again. Until tonight when we conquer the zombies again...
