Monday, December 8, 2014

What A Difference a Year Makes

Our lives come in natural increments I guess. Infancy, toddler, preschooler, elementary schooler, middle schooler, high school student, college student, wife, mom, teacher, stay at home mom, teacher again is how mine went and is going so far. My husband's was similar only after college it was resident, fellow, surgeon. I have a habit of looking too far forward at times to a fault. I am learning to live in the one day we have-today.

But for so long I would think if we could just get through med school, if we could just finish residency, as soon as this fellowship is over we will see the light at the end of the tunnel! I now know this is setting up each resident and their family for disappointment! You bring a lot of things with you to the end of that tunnel, and it's not always as bright as you'd hoped it would be or maybe just not as easy as you hope it will get!

One year WILL teach you a lot of things. It taught me that my counting down to being a stay at home mom would lead to another countdown to being a 4th grade teacher again for my 10th year in a row! It taught me while I was looking at W mourning not working at his school this year that I was silly because unbeknownst to me I would be working at his school this school year!

A year has taken many of my friends from being a seeking single to finding the man of their dreams and married by the end of it. It has taken girlfriends from not being a mother to being pregnant and having the baby of their dreams. Or being a devoted mom of one to being a mom to more than one. All in one year. I have seen a year take friends or their spouses from losing a job and feeling despair to finding a new, better, higher paying job that they would love for years to come.

It's around this time that I like to go back on Facebook looking and thinking about the posts back back back through the entire year (although I swear some are missing but anyhoo!) One year can change everything or 5 or 10 certainly 15 feels like a lifetime.

There are only 4 seasons but each year it is like my memory of them fades and when they show up again it's such a surprise. I guess because each year I'm different so I see things differently although they may happen on schedule. One year can change your scenery to a new city or state, or a new house, a new car, or a new job. One year can take an acquaintance and turn her into a new best friend.

One year can bring closeness or distance with family. One year on my children helps me realize it is a lifetime and yet it flies by time and time again. One year over and over turns this into this:


At least she still loves stuffed animals :)


One year can break a woman's heart or fulfill all her dreams. I see it everyday among the people I love. Most of us just think we are doing the best we can for a year holding on for dear life. But then at the end of it if we look back close enough.....we realize all along we were doing so so much more than that.



We were living. Life is in the details not the destination. There is no light at the end of the tunnel until you're dead! The savior brings us the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then, I am living. We can let the light in each and every day-forget tunnel vision! Even when I am waiting, even when I am happy, even when I may be suffering-I am living. I look at my short life as a mom with my husband and kids and realize what goes into each day each year. I wonder, did she know?


Did she know the sacrifice to her body, her mental state from caring for me late night after night, paying for my needs, getting me piano lessons, signing me up for the soccer team, funding my dance teams, sending me off with a broken heart to college and setting me free would bring such joy to me throughout my life and my kids' and hopefully one day their kids' lives? Looking back, how could they have known every year they gave to me would allow me to do the same for my children?

I am always startled to realize a year is over and a new one is about to begin. Surprised so much that I look back at pictures and old posts or journal entries just to prove it really happened. The days are long and years are short. I also start looking to a new year with great anticipation that if all this stuff went down this year what could happen next?! I make new resolutions. I get new perspective.

But I am still in awe at what a difference one. single. year. can make!

I pray in 15 years from now my children are thriving and I am still right next to the man I love. I pray every year I work on the details so that may happen!


Cheers to month 12! May we all celebrate what brings light to every day-Christ and His gift of love and sacrifice so we may start a new month-month 1-with renewed strength, joy, and purpose!



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